This is going to be another hard one to write so I'm just going to jump right in and say it. My brother is now a quadriplegic. That's not something you ever imagine having to say. But now I have to. Here's why.....
Friday, March 8th was any normal day. Everybody's at work or school waiting for the weekend. You never realize that literally in a split second your life can be completely flipped around and changed forever. Backing up a little bit, I will say that my dad and brother work together. They both do construction. Have for many many years. Well this past Friday, they were working together getting ready to hang some doors in a building. There were numerous doors that they were planning to use, so they had them stacked together and propped against the wall. My dad needed one of the doors in the back, so one by one, he stood upright the doors that were in front of it. My brothers job was just to hold the on to the doors so they didn't fall while my dad pulled out the door he needed. My brother wasn't carrying, lifting, bracing, etc. Just standing upright with his hands holding on to a door. What happened next will forever change my brother's life, and every member of our family's.
My dad was getting ready to stand up another door for my brother to hold. My brother said "wait a minute" so my dad stopped. Then my brother said "ok, go ahead" As my dad handed him another door, he heard my brother say "Ohhh!" and then he heard "Well that ain't good..." My dad said "Ryan, what are you doing? Help me out here" And my brother said "I can't. I can't move" And my dad said "Ryan, stop playing, we need to get these doors finished" And my brother said "Dad, I can't move. I can't feel anything." So my dad came from around the doors, and my brother was sitting on the ground with his feet stretched out in front of him, and his head laying against his shoulder. My dad immediately calls an ambulance, and they instead decide to careflight him to OSU Hospital.
Fast forward a few hours, I finally arrive at the hospital. By the time I get there, he has already been taken back for a surgery that will last 4-7hrs long. At one point, we counted 26 family members in the waiting room. There were members we haven't seen in years that showed up. Of course everybody wants to hear the story of what happened, and since my dad was the only one there, he was forced to relive and tell it over and over again. Every time he told it, he cried, which made everybody else cry, no matter how many times we had heard it already.
After the surgery, the surgeon comes out and says that they put a plate and screws in his neck and they hoped his bone would accept it and grow around it. They also removed his 5th vertebrae. My brother had fractured his spine clear up to his neck. The doctors said even they had no idea how it happened. It was just a freak accident. The surgeon also addressed my dad and told him that none of it was his fault, and that he shouldn't hold any guilt or blame. Of course, my dad does anyway, which is really hard to watch.
Sunday I went back to the hospital and ended up staying a good 12hrs. I got to go back and see my brother twice while I was there. I had no idea what I was about to see, and when I finally saw him, I almost stopped in my tracks. Of course he still looked like my brother. Same hair, same size, same glasses, but there were so many tubes and wires and devices, and braces everywhere that you almost couldn't see his face right away. It was heartbreaking. They had him on medication so he would come in and out of sleep while you were there. He could nod his head yes or no, but because of the breathing tube/ventilator, he couldn't talk. So when he wanted to say something, you had to say the alphabet out loud and he would nod when you said the letter he wanted. Then you had to start over and repeat the process until you formed the word or sentence he wanted. At one point, my dad was back visiting with him, and he went to leave and said "Ok Ryan, I'm going to leave and let you get some rest. I'll be back later" My brother started trying to say something, so my dad started going through the alphabet. My brother ended up spelling "don't go." Talk about ripping your heart out. I tear up every time I think about it.
Sunday night, visiting hours had 10 minutes left, so Marissa and I went in to say goodbye. I told him that dad was taking the next day off and would spend the day with him, and he nodded. Then I told him that I would be back sometime later in the week to see him again. He made eye contact with me and mouthed the words "thank you." to which I replied "You're my brother, where else would I be?", to which he closed his eyes and nodded. He then mouthed "thank you" to Marissa, who proceeds to start crying and has to stand behind me so he doesn't see her. Somewhat of a funny moment happened when he was trying to signal something to us and we couldn't figure it out. He didn't want to do the alphabet so my sister-in-law Mandy starts naming random things trying to figure out what he's trying to say. "Are you cold? Is it too bright? Do you want to watch TV? Are you trying to tell the girls something? Do you want a blanket?" To which he shook his head and continuously rolled his eyes. Finally she says "Are you in pain??" And he smiles really big and sarcastically and starts nodding his head as if to say "Tell her what she's won!!" LOL we all laughed so hard. On a more serious note, when it came time to leave, I touched his shoulder and said "We're going to head out. I love you" and he said "I love you too" plain as day. Of course it was soft and mumbled, but I heard it as clearly as if he shouted it across the room. " I love you too" That's the first time I can remember my brother saying those words to me in 22 years. "I love you too" I went back to the waiting room and cried. I didn't care who was watching. Even though it was under the worst condition imaginable, my big brother finally told me he loved me. We bonded more in 10 minutes than we have in 22 years. That is what I'll remember most.
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